Thursday, October 3, 2013

Once Upon A Time - In Metaphor

Once upon a time, life was like the first mile of open highway on a summer road trip - full of endless possibility.

Once upon a time, life was the first step into a dark, wet cave- full of unnamed terror and despair.

Once upon a time.

The journey is a endless march.  Sometimes a slog, other times a quick trot, boundless and full of energy.

Once upon a time, the journey.

The road forks.  It dips.  It bends.  It's flooded out, the bridges washed away.  It's muddy. 

But then the sun breaks out through gray clouds and the road becomes straight and dry and easy.

Once upon a time, the journey eases.

In my life, the journey has been more arduous than easy.  I don't remember a time in my childhood when i looked at life as the road trip.  My life vision has always been the cave, with all of its requisite blackness stretching out to infinity. 

Until finally, a dramatic turn of events.  A parental demand to clean up or get out.  A therapist who understood. David.  The triumvirate.  My triumvirate.  My life raft. 

My salvation.

So yes, I struggle. I fall.  I sometimes fail to see the golden road.   The road is muddy, the bridge washed out.

I am human.  I am about as far from ideal as one can be.  I fall as hard as concrete.  I blaze like dry tinder wood.  I allow the devil in my head to pull the strings of my sub-conscious and turn me inside out.

But I get up, too.  I strive.  I succeed. 

Though sometimes I may very well fail to see it, my life is not a serious of failures.  My life is a success.  It is a series of victories strung together like gallery lights strung across a festive backyard.  Maybe a bulb or two in the string have extinguished, but still the whole gives off a soft, warm glow.

I won't let the devil in my head win out.  I won't let me destroy what I have worked so hard to accomplish.  I know I am not perfect.  I know I will fail sometimes.  But I also know that I don't quit.  I am a fighter.  I will battle on until I have no more battle inside me.  And that will be enough.  That will have to be enough.

Once upon a time, the light breaks through the gray clouds and burns a path to follow.

1 comment:

  1. The most difficult battles are the ones inside your head, the ones no one but you knows about it. somedays it is harder to fight...we all experience that day when you just want to give in and let "it" whatever it is takeover..

    but tomorrow we have to come back swinging