Tuesday, October 1, 2013

An Update In Snippets

And so it goes. Time churns.

A season passes.  Another begins.   

Busy busy, always busy.  A whirlwind, a dervish.  A river flows away from me, always running.  No peace.  Time moves on. 

Scattered thoughts.  Nothing sticks in my head. Sleepless nights, heavy lidded days.  Time moves away from me.

A season has passed.  Did I enjoy it?  Did it simply happen to me.  Do I even remember its supposedly warm embrace upon me?

Why do my thoughts always seem so fragmented?  Why am I always tortured?  Where is the peace that I seek?  Or perhaps I don't really seek want it.  How I love/hate all of these moving parts.


Weren't it for life to be easy?  Or maybe it is easy.  Maybe I'm the one who isn't easy.  Perhaps I need the chaos, the torture.  Am I the type who thrives on it?

Sleepless nights.  Only now, my brain won't shut off.  It whirs like a kinetic top, always in motion, always goading.  Always attempting to lead me astray.

It it my brain?  Is it me?  Why can't I ever just be happy? Why do I fight it so hard?  Endlessly fighting.  All that energy spent on things.  Wasting, always wasting.  always seeking something I don't need.

A season passes and another begins.  What does it hold for me?  Happiness, sadness?  Torture?  Something else? 

Time churns.  So do the wheels of my brain. 

Sigh.

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