Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Devil Inside



Recently I've been thinking about the secrets people keep.  The little devils inside of them which they don't show the world. 


He sits there, clean cut and well kept. He's smart, he's funny, he's successful. He's all that and a pile of poker chips. The girlies all swoon when they see him coming.

Inside...he's a monster.

She's gorgeous and well dressed in her tight clothes and and brilliant, white smile. She's the queen of the ball, the dame of the dance.

Inside, she's a horrific witch.

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I had a conversation with someone recently where he espoused his philosophy about the existence of a class of people which are just...superior.  Basically, he's a frum Nazi.  Except when you call him on this, he laughs and tells you you are a naive little fool who refuses to see the truth of the world.

The Devil Inside.

We all have one.  It manifests itself in different ways.  But no matter how it comes out in you, the Devil cuts a hole in your soul and bleeds out goodness over time.

Slow, unrelenting time.

The devil's in no rush.  He has many methods.  But the most tried and true is simply to outlast you.  Wait until your resistance weakens, waits until you aren't looking.  And then the Devil strikes quickly, much like a snake.  An unleashing of quick energy, followed by the slow death by poison.

The Devil Inside.

No one's really immune.  I'm not immune.

 Jews call it the Yetzer Hora.  Other call it the devil sitting on your left shoulder.  The bad angel.  Vices.  Whatever you call it, it sings in a siren's voice.  Like water torture in your brain.  It is always there, oft times a low hum, others a thunderous roar.  It wears you down.  Like waves against a deteriorating rock face.  Like Andy Dufresne and his prison cell wall.  Pressure and time.

"That's all it takes is pressure and time."  Eventually most of us break.  Eventually we become the bitch.  Or the monster.  Or that "sin" that you have been working so hard not to do.

Everyone has a devil.  That's just a part of being a human.  Don't fight me on this.  Change the word "devil" to "inclination".  Ah, now you are smiling and nodding your head.  You see it too.  "Oh, so it was the devil who made me finish the chocolate cake last night.  No wonder I was so powerless to stop him."  "Oh so it was the devil who made me check out porn on the internet last night.  No wonder I was forced to...."

The devil comes in many forms.  Most of them are part of the normal course of life.  After all, we all have our battles to fight.

But.

But some of us truly are monsters underneath.  So rotted out inside that there is barely any humanity left.  And it's even worse when they see it.  And embrace it. 

The sociopath does this. 

And sometimes the sociopath lives a "normal" life, gets married and leaves his vicious mark only on his immediate family.  His poor wife and children.

Other times he walks into a school and kills children.

The Devil Inside.

Embraced, ignored or feared, he is always there.  Bearing down on you.  Pressure and time.  Most people don't have the tools with which to fight him.  Many don't want to fight him.

But the worst of the lot are those who welcome him with open arms and a warm embrace.




27 comments:

  1. Wow, a post all about me! Id like to make a couple of points: 1) As much is it is not politically correct / doesnt go over well in today's day and age, the reality is that some people are simply superior to others. There are the sheep and there are the shepherds. This past weekend I had a couple stay over at my house. Very nice people, but, he was created to serve people better than himself. He is a pawn in this world's giant game of chess. It may sound evil and cruel, but it is the reality.

    2) walking into a school and shooting children is not at all the trait of the type of person this post was about. A serial killer would be more like it. (Good) Serial killers have qualities which everyone has to admire. The careful planning, the emotionless way they carry out their work, etc etc. Il be the first to say, though I didnt really support the idea of his killing children, I was quite impressed with Anders Breivik's work. He planned it extremely well, prepared for quite some time and was able to carry out a successful attack. Did I support his killing of children, not really, though it can be argued that he invaded the modern day equivalent of a hitler youth camp. I dont get involved with that part of the game.

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  2. A) This post was not all about you. It was partially about you. The world does not revolve around you as much as you like to think it does.

    B) You are confusing a psychopath with a sociopath. You are the latter, not the former. Sociopaths do commit mass murders, not serial killings.

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    1. I think I can safely say that this post would not have been written if not for our conversation.

      Yes, sociopaths tend to be mass murderers while psychopaths are serial killers. My behavioral traits, however, are more psychopathic than sociopathic.

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  3. wow, anonymous. i can see that you're quite proud of yourself for having reached the conclusion that there are individuals who are "superior" to others. i'm sure you've read plato's "republic" and feel that there is a swath of philosophy and literature to support you.

    the problem is that you fail to see the nuanced difference between "better at certain things [example: leadership, academics, cooking]" and "inherent worth." our sages would be quick to agree that there are individuals who are more gifted at - superior, even - talmudic study or connecting to g-d. but they would never, EVER say that said individuals are WORTH more. you seem to be. that's both frightening and disheartening.

    cymbaline: a solid, important post.

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    1. If a person is higher up the ladder of humanity, he contributes more to society and the world. He is therefore worth more. Lower level pawns are replaceable. You can pick up day workers outside any home depot....

      Delete
  4. OHHHH
    So by "pawns" you are referring to peolpe who weren't lucky enough to be born into middle class or upper class Jewish families, and therefore given a better education and advantages????

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    1. Not at all. I work on a daily basis with a few people from the Philippine's, el Salvador etc. That means nothing. Its brains, perseverance and self control that counts.

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  5. As a superior person myself, I must step in here and let you know that sheep with golden hooves step in shit too. Move along and follow the crap you believe in and maybe, one day, you'll realize how much you've caused yourself to be hated. Until then, let the real humans who understand a world that is bigger than you lead.
    Cym - this one isn't worth it. Let the Devil inside him consume whatever's left and leave him to his destiny.

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    1. A) superior people aren't sheep with golden hooves. Theyre the shepherds. Or more accurately, we're the ones who breed and create sheep. Golden gloves sheep are the people we grant higher positions to, like the managers in our companies.

      B) there is no reason to hate someone like me. I am simply a capitalist. I believe in supply and demand and free market principles. I run my life and business that way. And, even if people do want to hate me, I don't really care. They are inferior to me. I don't give a bloody hoot in hell about what they think.

      C) People like myself are the ones who actually run the world, not your do-gooders and politicians. Its the people like me who lead all the biggest corporations out there.

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    2. Is this the part where you plug your manifesto?

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  6. Agreed. We continued this conversation in Gmail for a very quick while and I have since disengaged.

    I do not have the mental energy (or in his mind capacity :))to fight this fight.

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  7. When you are a big boy, we will let you become a member of Bildaberg with all the otgher world leaders.

    Have I mentioned how bad i feel for your future wife?

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    1. Heh. Your permission will not be needed to for me to join the bilderbergs.

      Marriage is not something I plan on as of now. Wives are simply a distraction ( who also spend waaaay too much money).

      Delete
  8. >B) there is no reason to hate someone like me. I am simply a capitalist. I believe in supply and demand and free market principles. I run my life and business that way.

    This is truly a puzzling statement. It makes sense to run a business on supply and demand free market principles. This is the definition of the word "capitalist". But how does one run ones "life" according to financial doctrines? As far as I know, there have not been any successful attempts to carry those ideas over to the realm of morals and ethics (other than some 100 year old Spencerian social darwinists). We don't sell children to couples looking to adopt, even if they have money. We don't sell organs to the highest bidder. In the hospital ER, you are triaged according to your medical needs not according to how well you pay... Or at least this is what our society puts out as ideals..

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    1. It is exactly what it sounds like. I place more value on some over others. Some people are replaceable, others not so much.

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    2. That's fine. It's a free country. Some people try to sell their own kids into prostitution. I was just trying to figure out whether you had some kind of defensible philosophy for your worldview. Guess not. Thanks for playing.

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    3. Its a highly defensible position. I value people for what they "produce", not some hippy intrinsic value which everyone supposedly has.

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    4. So human life, if unable to produce anything, is worth nothing according to you?

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    5. Pretty much. All it does is use resources, thereby taking them away from those of us actually worth something. A method like the one used in The Giver should be employed.

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    6. Ha, Mr Free Market uses "The Giver", a central planned, totalitarian society, as an example of how we should live. Defensible, indeed. Go away, troll, you bother me...

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    7. How do you reconcile that with Judaism? We're supposed to believe that human life is sacred.

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    8. Hey, all I like about the giver is their "process of elimination". In truth though, while I do think they are a burden on the rest of society and use up its resources, I do not advocate eliminating the inferior beings. Someday maybe, not yet.

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    9. Inferiors can be seen as subhuman. A humans mind and capabilities are all that separate a human from an animal. Inferiors who lack the above mentioned qualities do not have to be looked at as fully human.

      Re elimination, for now my thought is that the decision should rest with each master individually.

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    10. I give up. You have to be trolling.

      Delete
  9. This is where I need to step in and remind everyone that Anon is Anon. We shouldn't give his/her identity away.

    Thanks.

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  10. Human beings contributions and worth are not measured in financial terms. Perhaps for financial purposes they are, but I assure you that a defenseless baby who only consumes is worth far more to those who care about it than any amount of money. Those who are selfish may have businesses, or egos; but are they contributing anything worthwhile?

    Capitalism tells us about economics. Not the human condition. Don't give capitalism a bad name by confusing the two.

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