Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I'm Out, Son

Goin' on a well needed (not sure about deserved) vacation.

Be good kiddies.  I'll be back before y'all know it!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Miss Misery

"Do you miss me,
Miss Misery,
Like you say you do."

(Elliot Smith)

A misery to live with.

We've all heard that said about someone - or said it ourselves.  A misery to live with.

Recently, I discovered that I am a misery to live with.

oh he hasn't said anything.  He isn't even complaining.  But I am.

A misery.

To live with.

It's not that I don't like clothing thrown on the floor (even though I don't - and I will, despite my better ideas on how to train someone, will bend down and pick the crap up myself rather than waiting on some sort of miracle).  I do not care about a sink full of dishes (especially when they are there because of me).  I like made beds better than unmade ones, but I'm no bed Nazi.

So why am I such a misery to live with?

Well it's a two part answer. 

Numero Uno - I've never actually lived with someone before.  Sure, I've lived in a house with other people - but I've still always lived alone.  So now there's this adjustment period. And I think that I'm probably no picnic, at least some of the time.  He's all sunny and amiable and I'm all moody and rotten.

Miss Misery - at times.

Numero dos - I recently went through some stuff.  And the recovery process has been tough  because I can't really talk to him about it (reason unimportant for the purposes of this conversation).  And I've been sorting it out and working it through - and I'm even letting it fade.  But it's been a slow process and that misery surely follows me around still - though, perhaps, not as clearly and painfully as it did a month or so ago.

Miss Misery.

But you know what they say - the first step towards correcting a problem is admitting you have one.
So there it is for the world to see - I can be a miserable pain in the ass to live with.

I've been told, by some insightful people, that he knows this.  That he knows this and has signed up for it.  That I'm especially foolish if I truly believe that he thinks I'm "perfect" (as shocking as this might be for you all to believe).

And no, it isn't all misery.  In fact, it isn't even a 50/50 split.  We are having fun.  It's fun - even menial tasks can be fun when done together (see dishes, washing). 

Miss Misery?

Maybe not - maybe not completely anyway.  I think what I'm beginning to understand is that maybe all of us are, in our "times", misery to live with. Maybe I aint so special after all.  Humans aren't always sunny and happy.  Or pleasures to deal with.  Even the humans who we love so much.  Maybe the point is only that when we love them, their miserable-ness is simply easier to take.  You never see me getting mad when I almost fall into the toilet because a certain misery hasn't learned the art of returning the seat to its proper place.  Or that he seems to feel that getting trash "close" to the garbage counts as actually getting it in.  Or that he doesn't know a washer from a dryer.  See, he's a regular Mr. Misery himself.

Maybe I am learning how to be happy.  And I'm confusing the signs. 

Maybe I simply miss Misery.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Conspiracies at Every Turn

I saw a bit on the internet that there's a conspiracy theorist college professor at FAU who believes that the Sandy Hook massacre never took place - that the whole thing was staged using "crisis actors" so the White House can push through gun control laws.

Let's put aside your views on gun control.  And the fact that such a statement is so blatantly disrespectful to the parents of the dead children.  Let's put all that aside and talk about conspiracy theories.

I know a guy who let himself get eaten up inside because he became petrified of the so-called New World order - the famous Bildaberg group which supposedly controls everything that happens in the world.  Left wing conspiracies.  Right wing conspiracies.  Obama birther conspiracies.  Voter election fraud conspiracies.  Monetary policy.  Government cover-ups.  Global warming.

The world is full of many shades.  There's what you see.  And then there are things that most assuredly take place in the shadows.  There are no denying the shadows.  Just ask the Shin Bet if they don't exist.

But there's a fine line between belief and obsession.  And when it comes to conspiracy theory, it almost always becomes obsession.

Truthfully, you can make almost ANY argument sound rational to yourself.  That's the trick.  To yourself.  The person on the other side just thinks you are barking mad.  It's like trying to convince a Republican of left wing ideals.  Or trying to make a non-believer believe in God.  It can't be done.  And the other person just demonizes you and your ideas.

Right, wrong.  It's all irrelevant.  The ramblings of mad fools or the truth.  Does it matter?  You can never convince anyone else anyway. 

But it will eat at you.  It eats all the way through.  My father knows another guy.  He's a genius.  He works for some kind of think tank that has some connections to the Government.  And the guy has become a paranoid. He sees conspiracies everywhere.  It's terrifying talking to him (which I have done a few times) because everything comes back to conspiracies - against the Jews, against right thinking Americans. 

Truth is, it is someones job to sift through the shadows - to separate fantasy from reality. 

But it's not your job.  If you make it your job, all that will leave you with is constant fear and other people feeling that talking to you is like standing in an open air lunatic asylum.

So do yourself a favor - the next time someone comes to you and tries to convince you about one of these theories - run like hell.

otherwise they may start making sense...