Wednesday, October 24, 2012

There Are Only So Many Hours In A Day.....So How Does Anyone Get Anything Done????

When Mick Jagger sang "Time is on My Side", he proved two things:

1.  Being a rock star isn't a full time job; and

2.  He never HAD a full time job.

Either that or he was a lying sack of crap.

Because what I have been discovering since working full time is that - there are NOT enough hours in a day to accomplish everything that needs to get done.

This is neither a rant nor a complaint.  Let's make that clear up front.  I'm loving work.  I love learning about everything, I love the interactions with my office mates.  I love being a part of a wonderful machine that creates a process with a specific outcome. 

However, I can tell you that the laundry suffers.  And the cooking.  And the general cleaning.  My eating habits have become abysmal.  There simply isn't enough time.

We leave early.  it's a good thing I'm an insanely early riser so I can still get a workout in before.  We get home late, with a full day in the office in between.  It's exhilarating, stressful and tiring all rolled into awesome.

I'm tired a lot more than I used to be.  Now I think I understand why parents always look so damn exhausted.  Imagine they do this all day and then come home to a house full of rug rats. Yikes!

But what a ride!  I love being  apart of this.  Now excuse me - there's not enough time to keep writing!

Friday, October 19, 2012

On Which She Begins To Understand THE NEXT STEP

"I get up at seven, yeah,
And I go to work at nine.
I got no time for livin'.
Yes, I'm workin' all the time.

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am.
I guess that's why they call me,
They call me the workin' man.

So I get home at five o'clock,
And I take myself out a nice, cold beer.
Always seem to be wond'rin'
Why there's nothin' goin' down here.

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am.
I guess that's why they call me,
They call me the workin' man."

(Rush  - Working Man)

So I'm officially a member of the "Working Force". 

It's quite overwhelming.  It's fast paced.  There is so much to learn and absorb, so many people to know.  So many things to do.

In other words - it's freaking awesome!

I've written many time about my life's road map and the PLAN and all that other good stuff.  But honestly, my entrance into the Land of the Employed has always been a great mystery to me.  A fuzzy picture in which I always imagined myself dressed in business attire and doing a variety of tasks with various people - but the details never actually swimming into focus amid the haze.

And yes, I do wear business attire (except Fridays) and I am performing a variety if tasks (or, more specifically, learning how vast and, well, varied those tasks are.

For those of you who don't know, I'm actually working in my in-laws family business.  Throughout my work search, they have offered to have me work there (in the industry I was always interested in no less) but I originally was against the idea of working so close with family.  After all, I was just adjusting to being a part of their family and I was afraid that no one there would actually take me particularly seriously- just the bosses' new daughter in law coming in like she owns the place and all that.

Two things swayed me - the first was that my father in law seemed to very sincerely...excited by the prospect of having me there and of teaching me the craft.  I found that extremely touching to be honest.  The second? I couldn't even get a nibble at other jobs except to be "The face" in reception.  Um, no thanks.  I make my own coffee and that's it.

So I've been here a week.  I'm sitting in meetings, getting a run of the office, and learning at the feet of a successful businessman who treats me well. 

Oh and I get to be with David every day.  We even did Lunch Wednesday.  Awwww.

So that's the first week update.  I'm happy and everything's exceeding expectations.

Can't wait for the weekend!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

What To Say When You Have Nothing To Say

I've stared at this blank page many times in the last few months.  I'll click it on and off.  Every so often (as opposed to two or three times a week) something is there.  More often than not....not so much.

So is this how blogs die?  Slowly and painfully, protracted and dragged out of the course of many months - outliving their usefulness in fits and starts like a car with 150,000 miles on its odometer might peter out.

Do I have nothing left to say?  Is my story done?  Of course not.  There is so much more to do.  A life to live.  Dreams to fulfill and more to make. 

But maybe I don't have as much to say here

My journal of the journey.  My record of things.  The balm of a wounded soul.  Perhaps, now, simply less wounded than before.  Maybe the need isn't there to same way it was last year.  Maybe I'm less angsty now, maybe my spirit no longer feels so damn alone anymore.

I have a family now, an in-law one yes, but one that has accepted me as one of their own nevertheless.  I continue to get closer with my dad and my soon to be married brother too.  I have a husband who I love and who loves me and I have the friendship of his little circle.  I am no longer the person I was.

And while those are all truly wonderful things which I am extremely happy for, they also make it impossible for me to blog in the same way.  And so often times I will open the blank page and soon after click it off.  Hell, I barely even look at other blogs anymore.  It feels as though this entire part of me is drying up and falling to dust around me.

Last year it felt as though I was posting two or three times a week.  The pain words flowed like water onto the page.  The almost magical stories, the heartfelt, tear chocked anecdotes of my life - "pictures of you, pictures of me".   They seem to have been part of a completed phase.  Phase I - Rebellion.  Phase II - Self Destruction.  Phase III - Recovery.  Done, all done. 

Phase IV - Get Busy LIVING.

Even the people I met talk to from this blog - well chat with - seem to be disappearing from around me.  They are too busy or have simply moved on to greener pastures.  One or two even find me to be overwhelming.  Sweet lil' ol' me.  Imagine that (Insert Smiley Face Smiling Rather Sweetly).

Well time moves on.  I don't hold grudges. If my friendship with Tova couldn't stand the test of forever, then perhaps nothing can.  As Red would say, "get busy living or get busy dying - that's goddam right". 

I'm about to embark on the next great journey in my life - gainful employment.  Yes, I found a job.  Doesn't matter where it is or how I got it.  Perhaps it isn't the way I wanted to start, but at least I'm starting. I am going to check off the box on my road map.  And even if the twists and turns are there, the road is still going in the right direction  (the path of the Beam if you ken).

Am I gone?  Not quite.  Am I getting on towards 150,000 miles on the odometer?  Looks like.  I'll still be around on G-chat and occasionally peeking in on some blogs - if and when I have what to say I'll say it.  I don't worry about readership or "hits" or the like.  I remain true to the only reader I ever wrote for - ME. 

Now it's time to get busy living.