Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Unrepentant

No, this is not a movie review.  And if you don't get this one, all the better.  Means it isn't aimed at you:

This is me, unrepentant.  It's me declaring to the world, loudly and in color:

"THIS IS WHO I AM - LIKE IT OR NOT.  I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HOW I DO THINGS."

To paraphrase a wise sailor, I am who I am.  To quote him directly, "I yam who I yam". 

I am me, warts and all.  I have my qualities and my faults, the products of the life I suffered through up until now.  Maybe you don't agree with all my choices, past or present.  Maybe you feel I'm too free with my words, my actions or my dress codes.  Maybe my thoughts on sex are too provocative for you.  Perhaps my positions on religion are not to your liking.  Perhaps you don't approve of me saying I think I'm pretty. 

It's not changing anytime soon.  Get used to it or get off the bus.

No, I'm not writing this about you.  Or you.  Or even you.  I'm writing this about any of you who feels the need to question how I do things.  Those of you who read this and those of you who don't.  For the latter category, I guess this will be a silent scream. 

I won't change - not for you or anyone else.  I am happy with the woman I have become.  I don't feel the need to pretend to be for anyone else.  I don't live for the society around me.  Maybe you do, maybe that's your great mistake.  Constantly subjugating your will to that of the herd.

You want to "wax me, mold me, heat the pins and stab them in".  But I won't let you.  That was another me, another time and a million miles away.  I am no longer controlled by those forces.  Your words have no effect on me.  They can't hurt me, 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not looking for an army of "yes men".  By all means - disagree with me.  Argue with me.  Tell me I'm wrong about things.  But don't you judge me.  Not until you have walked five inches in my shoes.  I don't care if you don't approve - but be open minded enough to understand yours isn't the only way (and spare me the religious arguments, thanks).

Try, instead, to appreciate how far I've come.

I only need one person's approval in this world.  That's it.  Everyone else can be happy for me or not.  Can support me or not.

This is me, unrepentant.  It's me declaring to the world, loudly and in color:

"THIS IS WHO I AM - LIKE IT OR NOT. I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HOW I DO THINGS."

4 comments:

  1. You're pretty amazing the way you are. Why the defensiveness? Who's asking you to change?

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  2. nu, i can only imagine what prompted this - but you are simply fabulous as you are.

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  3. I just went through all of your comments over the past couple of weeks to see who made you so mad. (don't let them! you rock!) I didn't find anything, but I did realize something else; yes, I really am that nosy.

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  4. To be honest, i was planning on NOT responding to any comment about this particular post. However, JS made me laugh so yea. Go you. You are not "nosy" you are "concerned". (And from what I hear, extremely clumsy).

    Everyone fear not, I am all good.

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