Monday, May 14, 2012

A Break From Tradition - But I Wouldn't Read Too Much Into It

Mother's Day in Casa De Cymbaline has always been a big deal. At 11:00 am, the entire family (sans anyone learning in Israel for the year) sits down in the dining room and eats a massively sumptuous brunch feast prepared by my older brother who, if it was more socially acceptable in our circles, would be a great chef somewhere.  Then, at my father's beckoning, everyone around the table chokes out says something nice about my mother. 

Not that I know about this firs hand.  You will be shocked to earn that the last time I attended this family function was when I was 13 years old.  At that event I stood up, smiled sweetly and said "Mom is a dragon lady.  There's nothing about her I love" - at which point I was banished to my room and banned from further events.  (Yes I know how awful and immature I was and yes to this day that memory puts a smile on my face.  Evil laugh. And I know the feast was sumptuous because I vultured the leftovers.

So fast forward eight years.  Imagine every one's surprise when Cymbaline comes into the dining room, dressed up for the occasion, presents her mother a card, and sits down at the table!  When it was her turn to speak, she stood up (no sweet smile) and choked out said "I want to thank you for all of the hard work you have put into the wedding.  I really appreciate it and it's taken a tremendous, unwanted burden off of me."  Mother nodded her head in thanks.  (By the way, the card had the same message - thanks for planning the wedding.)

Sitting down and picking up my fork, I couldn't help but notice my older brother covering his smile with a napkin.  "Jackass," I mutter under my breath. 

Later, we did lunch/dinner (lupper?) at David's house.  Much less formal, no going around the table.  Though I did say that I appreciated how much she (and everyone else) has invited me into their family and taken me in as one of their own.  Everyone said "awww" in unison and then the conversation turned back to the Rangers hockey team.  I guess when you actually love your mother, you don't have to make as much of an effort.

*****

Be the bigger person.  That's what they say.  Let go.  Don't hold a soul eating grudge.  It's all true.  And I think it's better to live that than to just spout off about it.

I've written recently that in order to fully move on, I need to forgive her and forget her.  Well, this was an active part of the process.  Give the devil his due, they say.  And I did.  Although she's doing it in her own commandeering way, taking everything over and being bossy, the fact is she has taken an unwanted burden from me.  And for that she got thanks.


Oh and a belated Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers (and future mothers) out there.  :)

8 comments:

  1. Wow...that's pretty amazing (and really sweet).

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  2. Good read. Forget and move on is the lesson to be learned?

    Well, as sweet as it sounds, in most cases it just ain't happening, and you know it as much as I do.

    And BTW, lunch/dinner = linner...lunch/supper = lupper!

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  3. MW - thnx

    COJ - Thnx

    WM - For the most part, no it doesn't. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try...

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    1. Yeah, I hear you...I'll continue to try, if you promise too as well?

      Sounds like a deal to me!

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  4. Picking out the truths that make everyone's lives smoother: yeah!

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  5. my little poem didn't make it into the card...i'm oddly disappointed...

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  6. WM - Sounds good to me

    Colloq - I decided, in the end, it mighttdo more harm than good :)

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