Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When You're Strange

Life's good.  I'm on vacation, I'm planning a trip to the warm locales of southern Florida.   My biggest decisions these day revolve around whether or not to head back to the mall to return the sweater which fit so nicely in the dressing room at Nordstroms but suddenly falls on me like a potato sack.

Ah the good life.  Good times, good friends...

Oh wait.  Therein lies the problem.

My two best friends in the world are acting really, really weird.

Tova first.  While she has been managing to hold her own these last few months, she isn't currently allowed to fly.  Yet she is determined to make this trip to Florida, even if it kills her.  Literally.

In fact, she has threatened to kill me if I back out on her.  And so we will be going to Florida, even if (sniff) we need to (shudder) drive there next week.  Sigh.  If I get raped and murdered in a truck stop in Georgia, someone please write something nice about me in a blog post.

(And before all you judgemental types start making your judgements, remember one thing - Tova doesn't live under the same "life guidelines" as you.  In her head, she'll be lucky to be alive to see 2013.  She probably won't ever get married (who wants to marry a time bomb?) or have kids (who wants to bring a child into the world and then make him/her an orphan?) so if she would rather have quality over quantity, who are me to judge? - I just don't understand why we have to go NOW so badly.)

Then there's Mr. Wonderful.  Who has been acting...off lately.  Just off.  There's something there and I dunno what it is.  But it's driving me bonkers.  I hate not knowing what's wrong.  And when I ask him if he's ok, he says yes.  But I don't believe him.  Uch.  men suck.  Why can't you just discuss your stupid feelings?  Would it kill you to emote once in a while?

On the bright side, I'm still normal.

I hope.

Ed's Note - This post does not contain the word "alot" in it.

4 comments:

  1. Also--road trip!!! So much more full of awesome then a plane ride!

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  2. 'Alot" is 100% accepted slang. All of you grammarians needs to get off your high horses before i have Gregor Clegane unhorse you!!!

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  3. Tova is tough and will likely be ok.

    Mr. Wonderful is being a typical guy, and this most likely has nothing to do with you, so no need to drive yourself crazy. Been there, done that, over it! :)

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