Monday, January 30, 2012

I Love You, But....

Dear Gentle Reader:

Please understand, I am not speaking to any one of you, I'm speaking to all of you.  The last eleven or so months has been a totally wild ride with you all.  I have poured a large portion of my heart and soul into these posts and I've opened up to you strangers the way I've only opened up to three other people in the "real world" (Tova, David and my therapist).  In many ways, you should feel honored (snort).

However..

I have tried to create a wall between this world and the real world - in many ways because of how much I've opened up here.  In some ways, I've been too honest.  I've told you all many things I never really planned on sharing with others.  Now it's water under the bridge.

But...

I'm asking you, Gentle Reader, to understand.  My life is a whirlwind right now.  I'm sure you get that.  School started (I lied to you, I actually cut school to go on vacation last week - I didn't want to hear any tsk-tsking) and I'm already behind.  I think the trip was a major setback for Tova, so I'm worried about her health.  Then there's the engagement thing.  I am really in uncharted waters right now.

So please..

I really, really appreciate how you guys seem so excited for me.  And I appreciate the love - I really, really do.  Maybe more so than any of you even realize.  But I really need you all to understand the boundaries I created.  I created them not for you, but for me.  And I know that maybe they make no sense to you, but they make sense to me.  And if you don't agree with them, or even think they are stupid, I'm asking you all to respect them anyway.

You guys cannot know how much your comments and g-chats mean to me.  But I can't open up any more right now. 

I feel pressured - justly or unjustly - and I already have enough pressure in my life right now.

So if possible...

Try and remember to keep to the wall - please do not ask to come to the other side.

Thank you,

Cym.

4 comments:

  1. Your perfectly justified in your request.
    good luck my dear! we're praying for you!
    May you enjoy all these days fully!

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  2. Does that mean I am not invited to the wedding?

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  3. Haha, don't worry, take your time, and don't feel pressured. Enjoy being engaged, take it one step at a time... RELAX! :)

    That's coming from a girl who is totally overwhelmed by 10,000 different things right now... Hehe. :)

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  4. Kvetcher - you MUST let me have an email address for you!!! cymbaline91 at gmail

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