Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Sail To The Moon

"I was dropped from moonbeams
And sailed on shooting stars
"

As they say in French - it's all over.  Got all my grades back (Did really well!!!), Chanukah is just about wrapped up, and now I can focus on my vacation plans  - i.e. pretty much doing absolutely nothing for the next several weeks.

There is an interesting pattern to having nothing to do.  You can wake up late (assuming you sleep).  You can lie around all day in your pj's if you so choose or run around and try to fill up every second of your free time.

Me, I fall somewhere in the middle.  I took two days of doing nothing (literally never got out of my pj's) and now I'm in Trying To Accomplish But Still Be On Vacation mode.  Whatever that means.

But what it does mean is that I can stop and listen to the world again.  I've been running around from one thing to the next for so long that I haven't taken a second to just listen.  To hear.  To see.

The one thing I notice is that as I gain more and more responsibility, there seems to be less and less time to just...be.  To watch the wind shake the branches or watch water flowing down a stream.  Or put on your MP3 player and listen to music with your eyes closed - and sail to the moon.

Tova wants to go to Florida with me.  Right now she isn't allowed to fly.  She wants us to drive (sooooo not into that - with our combined shitty luck we will end up raped and murdered in a truck stop outside of Savannah, Georgia) and I want to take her Dr's advice and give it a few weeks to see if her lung capacity improves.  So we are having that debate.  I'm not excited about flying with her and having her die on me on JetBlue flight number 427. 

The good news is, being on vacation allows for that debate to exist.  No hurries.  There's plenty to do in the meantime.  Or plenty not to do.  Which works fine too.

Since I have started my "road to recovery", I've always been running.  Running to the next stage.  Getting better, getting back to school.  Wanting a job, a career and eventually a family.  Trying to reach that next goal as quickly as I can.  Always moving.  Always looking ahead.  Moving away from just stopping.  And listening.

And yes, I'm nowhere near the end of my journey.  And I know that I'll probably keep running forward at the speed of light.  But for the next few weeks at least, I will stop and listen and remember what it was like to have nothing to worry about except turning on the music, closing my eyes and trying to sail to the Moon.

2 comments:

  1. "Drown in the Now!"

    Enjoy it! There are flowers there and stuff, when you stop to smell them.

    ReplyDelete