Sunday, December 4, 2011

Boring

Had a very rough day today.  Caught some sort of stomach thing over the weekend and spent the entire day Sunday in bed, totally weak but terrified of even the thought of trying to eat anything. 

Lying in bed of course means I had plenty of time to think - which usually gets me in serious trouble.  (I think too much when I don't have tons of time on my hands after all - so much more so when I'm free to think.)

I thought about school - I'm in the final stretch.  I'll soon take two tests, write one paper and I'll be done for the semester. I'm planning the winter break trips I probably won't end up taking.

I have my part time job which I've been going to about twice a week.  It's been kinda boring but it's there.  Steady, dependable.

Things with David have been going super.  Really,  no complaints.

And there you have it, all of the components of my entire current existence in three paragraphs. 

I wake up, I go to the gym, I go to school and then I either come home or go to work.  I chat online sometimes and I talk on the phone with Tova and David pretty much every night.  Occasionally Tova and I go our for dinner during the week and I spend as much time as I can with David on the weekends.

My life, for lack of a better word, is boring.

It's predictable and repetitive.  It's lacking any true excitement.  It's become a wheel, where each day sort of turns right into the next in a patterns of wash, rinse repeat.

Now my former life, that was exciting. 

There were raves and keggers and drugs and sex.  There were fights with my parents and post high-crying fits with Tova.  There were wild sessions with my therapist where he literally opened me up and tore me apart.  There were sleepless nights in strange places, next to strange men.  There was fear.  Sadness.  Emptiness.  But damn, it was always exciting.

Now - I wake up, I go to the gym....wash, rinse repeat.

My life is boring.  I remember thinking when I was young and rebellious how glamorous my life must have looked to my fellow high school classmates - how they must have looked at me and thought how exciting it all was  - while they were home studying chem or English or whatever, I was out rocking the high life (or at least that's what I tried to convince myself anyway). 

But now I've become one of them.  Now I'm the one studying history and English and wondering what all the fun people are doing with themselves while I'm staring at this computer screen,

My life has become boring.

And I couldn't be happier .

8 comments:

  1. :) Boring is good. Keep it boring.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You should take up challah baking :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Keep it boring. Because with every major life change it will be less and less boring. And at some point of time, kid(s) will (hopefully) come and then it won't be boring at all, no matter how you turn it :-)

    But for now, keep it boring - and happy!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks guys - Boring is the new exciting!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The exciting people are out there preparing for what looks like might turn into protracted litigation. :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. P.S. There are other kinds of excitement out there... Life doesn't have to be boring to be nice and enjoyable. Look how much I stuff I end up doing in my free time, while busy with a career that keeps me on my feet. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. NO ONE can keep up with u sweets :)

    ReplyDelete