Tuesday, August 2, 2011

There's A Lack Of, Let's Call It....Tennis, In My Life

I started playing, um, tennis when I was like 15.

 Even as young as say 13 I was doing things that were like, um, tennis, but it wasn't quite tennis.  I started as a form of rebellion, but the truth is I discovered that I actually really liked tennis.  Maybe more so than most girls do.

So for the the last seven years, I've played alot of tennis.  I've played it with people I've cared about but often I just played it, for acceptance, for "love" or just to get stuff.  It's also one of life's great stress relievers.  After a game of tennis, I always feel much calmer. 

Now I ain't no Serena Williams, but you know what they say about practice - I've gotten to be pretty good at tennis.

 But despite it's lack of....permissiveness in some worlds, I've never lacked for tennis partners or a good game of tennis whenever I've needed one.

And tennis is one thing that I really stuck with, even as i was "recovering" from my problems.  See I separate tennis from rebellion.  I just like tennis and, dammit, there's nothing wrong with playing it - either with a regular partner or with a just a casual tennis fling.  Plenty of people argue I'm wrong.  That there are rules forbidding playing tennis whenever you feel like it.  But those aren't MY rules.  So don't impose them on me.

Unfortunately, David doesn't play.  Sure, we have volleyed a bit, but he doesn't actually play TENNIS.  Apparently some of the rules are problematic.  So no tennis there.

So a few days ago it dawned on me.  I haven't played tennis for a really long time.  And now I'm in a bigger bind - cause I won't play with anyone else if I'm seeing David.  Somehow that just doesn't seem right.  Actually it ISN'T right. 

And I obsess.  So I've been thinking ALOT about tennis.  Or specifically, the lack thereof.  Sure, there's always practice.  But tennis alone...well we all know it's not the same.  I'm concerned I will be consummed by my desire to play tennis until all i'm thinking about is an epic 5-set tennis marathon which leaves both players on the brink of physical and mental exhaustion. 

So to sum up.  I can't play tennis and I miss it.

The end.

43 comments:

  1. Ha, playing tennis with blue balls :)

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  2. The score is still love-love?

    (I am killing myself here...)

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  3. Painful dude, painful. Whatever you do, don't use the word "stroke" - spare us all :)

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  4. I guess it's a good thing e-kvetcher doesn't realize what number post this is.

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  5. Good one, GB :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYWT4uYOPvs

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  6. Well, I'm TOTALLY impressed with the maturity level here :) And for the record, that was TOTALLY accidental.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. >Thus, is it possible to find a tennis partner, preferably female (so you don't feel you're cheating on David?).

    Wow, COJ just raised this to a whole new level. Everyone under the age of 17 please leave the theater.

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  9. I'm pretty sure he's just missing the subtlty.

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  10. Sorry missed it completely. Removed the comment.

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  11. Wait - so I SHOLDN'T get a female partner??? Just kidding just kidding/

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  12. >Wait - so I SHOLDN'T get a female partner???

    I think you definitely should - and please televise the match!

    You know, I always wondered about the frum guys - I mean this guy is 24 and he's never played tennis - and even practicing solo is a sin. These guys must all be ready to pop...

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  13. tennisist that rarely gets to playAugust 2, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Cymbaline, look forward though. What about the 2 week no tennis rule. Would you be able to do this? What if he is not that much into tennis than you are in general? Are you ready for that? From personal experience, I can say that it isn't fun.

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  14. Dude, it's been well over 5 months!!

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  15. @Tennisist - BTW - in rerospect I realize I didn't really get what you were trying to say in your comment. Now i know what you are referring to. Truthfully, I find the whole ALMOST 2 WEEK RULE to be INSANE. But if thats the set of rukles we need to follow, I think id figure ut ways to manage myself. As for the rest, I'm pretty sure he's gonna enjoy playing tennis with me. He hasnt taken up the sport because of religious issues, not because of a personal dislike of it.

    I'm assuming ur a guy, but correct me if I'm wrong/....

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  16. I don't know much about "tennis" (or even tennis), but maybe, um, "swimming" is an option to tide you over? :) As for the 2 week rule, the second part of it was self-imposed by a bunch of women... so I'm guessing that least that part of it is flexible.:) I mean in general, whether it comes to "tennis", tennis, or any other sport, I strongly believe in using your common sense. :)

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  17. 1. The time-off-from-tennis sounds much more ridiculous than it is in practice. Not that it's easy and fun, but it's much less agonizing than it sounds. I have no idea why.

    2. A word of advice, which you may already know, but it bears repeating: guys can be veeeeeery sensitive about their tennis-playing abilities. (Heck, just listen to them obsess over racket sizes. I don't get it.) So if you're gonna play tennis with a someone who hasn't had much practice, be very careful how you let him know that you're very good at that game. He'll definitely appreciate that fact, but I'd suggest couching it in a way that makes it nearly impossible for him to decide that he's not in your league. (From previous posts, I imagine your eyebrows will hit the ceiling and your jaw hit the floor at that last phrase: "Heck, he's nearly perfect, and I have some major issues!" I can hear you say. Yeah, but he's entitled to his own insecurities, and he seems to have a much more accurate picture of you than you have yourself.)

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  18. tennisist that rarely gets to playAugust 3, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    Irina: sorry, but that "self-accepted" thing is now called The Standard Tennis Rulebook, any way you turn it. The guy, if he is not of the "pick and choose" variety, will play by rules, no matter if their strictness was enacted by "righteous tennisists" (which, btw, may or may not be the case)

    Cymbaline: you should know better if it's a 12 or 14 day rule for you. In my court it's at least 14. And if you're sure he will enjoy tennis and you can manage the 12-14 days - then kol hakavod. BTW, I am a guy (so in that respect , you do have it easier).

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  19. @Irina - I've done plenty of swimming too. Especially recently. I can probabkly get across the Atlantic with all the procifiency i have.

    @W. I hear you- it's probably good advice. But I'm pretty sure he will do just fine once he starts hitting a few :)

    @Tennisist - I'm not sure what his rukles are yet - quite honestly, I'm not even sure he's ever even thought abt it. AND it's very premature anyway (no pun intended) cause we aren't anywhere NEAR there.

    As for how many days - i have no freaking idea what the rules are.

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  20. I'm sure he'll do fine, too. The question is, is he sure? :-)

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  21. LOL - I'll make sure to scream to the heavens - Just like Venus and Serena!!

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  22. The rules are a minimum five-day suspension for those who play by Eastern European regulations followed by a standard seven-day probation. If your suspension lasts longer than five days, then your total time refraining from playing will be longer than twelve days.

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  23. tennisist that rarely gets to playAugust 3, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    Well put, anonymous. Couldn't have said better myself.

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  24. Safe to say - this is the most entertaining comment thread on Obscured By Clouds EVER!!! Well done - and keep it up!!!

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  25. Thanks, Tennisist! Have you and your tennis partner looked into any methods to shorten her suspension?

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  26. tennisist that rarely gets to playAugust 3, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    Anonymous: no. My partner thinks says that the suspension rate has been unusually high through her life. The only methods she thought of would prevent us winning the Wimbledon. Anyway, for me it's not the suspension that matters, but rather lack of enthusiasm in the game. Sometimes I feel that the game is just a means to the end :-(

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  27. @tennisist: Umm... I may be being a bit forward here, but have you considered talking to a tennis coach? As you seem to know, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game! And if there's a general lack of enthusiasm, a coach is probably a very, very good idea. If you and your tennis partner don't want to go to a professional coach, would you consider talking to the people who taught you the rules of the game?

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  28. Tennisist, you and your tennis partner are trying to form a youth league?

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  29. tennisist that rarely gets to play saidAugust 3, 2011 at 11:13 PM

    W: Been to coach multiple times, the one who deals with players of different spiritual orientations, not just my own. Stuff was suggested, in the end it's more or less the same. Just tired of trying.

    Anonymous: youth league is a work in progress, with some results. But believe me, just because there's a league doesn't mean that there's satisfaction in the court.

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  30. I'm so sorry, Tennisist. Playing should be pleasurable for both tennis partners. Sometimes lack of enthusiasm is caused by an underlying problem that needs the attention of specialists in the field of sports medicine. That said, there are some methods that are said to help to shorten the duration of suspensions that are not inadvisable for those forming youth leagues and do not necessitate asking a coach questions regarding legality. In any case, mazel tov on your successes in formation of a youth league!

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  31. Sadly, a number of jewish marred guys I've spoken to (um....no comments please) have similar complaints about their tennis partners. Arguably, the stereotype about frigid female tennis players who only like the forehand and no other ground strokes might be more true than we think. Personally, i think that sucks.

    I think there are certain Board members of the sports authority who think that tennis is a dirst game. They teach kids this at a young age. It's part of the reason swimming is so popular amoung teenage males. I think that, even if tennis is a game thats only for married players (and Im not saying I agree with that), EVEN SO, that doesnt make it dirty. Tennis has enough rules without the need for certain board members to add on more. No backhands? no net play? no sucking on the water bottle??? What gives??

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  32. >a number of jewish marred guys
    :)

    I think this metaphor has been stretched to the brink. I don't even know what anyone's talking about anymore...

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  33. Shit - I meant MARRIED guys - I type to fast for my own good. Sorry.

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  34. Is it that people who enjoy their tennis don't feel the need to discuss it? It actually makes me said to think that so many religious tennis partners aren't having fun playing.

    Random aside, but my not-exactly-progressive tennis teacher told me in no uncertain terms that sucking water bottles is not only allowed, but a very, very good idea. Not everyone who looks uptight is super frigid :-(

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  35. I personally don't think this is a productive conversation - there are plenty of frum people that have no problems in this department and there are plenty of non-frum people that do... Your mileage may vary. Certainly in the MO community I've never heard of a trend of people thinking sex is dirty.

    I don't know about sucking on water bottles, but when I'm thirsty I usually grab one of these...

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  36. Haha Kvetch. I cannot imagine drinking anyhting by that name? What, on earth, do u suppose it tastes like????

    I neer did a survey of jewish women and their love of tennis - but theres certainly a stereotype and sometimes where there's alot of smoke......

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  37. I don't buy it - the stereotype is of a JAP, i.e a rich and spoiled daddy's girl, not of a frigid frummy. If anything, I'd say in the more sheltered Chassidic and Chareidi communities it is the men that have sexual dysfunction problems rather than the women...

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  38. Hmm. The truth is, I don't have any data one way or the other. All i am going by is my own experiences - what i see myself and what i hear from people I've chatted with on the subject. I don't really know many chasidim, I know a bunch of EX-chasidim, but they left the fold for a number of reasons (abuse, self expression) not cause they wanted to have sex and weren';t allowed to...

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  39. Yeah - well that's life. Besides, you don't need to worry about everyone else, you just need to worry about one...

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  40. The issue for some women might be less that tennis is a dirty sport and more concerns that it isn't modest to let oneself enjoy playing it. Perhaps the instructors who prepare such women for entering into legally-registered tennis partnerships ought to not only teach the regulations and mechanics of matters relating to suspensions and probations but also explain ideas regarding pleasure and model that enjoyment is holy.

    Different local coaches will rule differently on the legality of various tennis techniques. Those who assume a certain technique to be forbidden to them risk being unnecessarily strict in their play. Most sports authority board members agree that unnecessary strictness in any sport is problematic and not commendable. Tennis partners should ask their coaches questions instead of assuming. For many questions coaches will take into account the circumstances of the individual courts of the tennis partners asking.

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