Friday, July 8, 2011

Mistress of Misfortune

Mistress of Misfortune, you are a cold hearted bitch.

You have been there my whole life, always sitting in shadow, right on the outside of view.  But always there just the same, doing me wrong.

You (along with a miserable cast of characters, including myself) took my adolescence from me.  You have made me cow in corners.  You have taken away my rational thought.  You have stolen my breath same as a plunge into freezing water. You have made me do terrible things with my body and you have also made me put worse things in my body. 

And what's worse, you always did it with a smile.  You were there, dressed in Winter's robes, watching me descending with your condescending smile. You took such great pleasure in my suffering. 

You have kept me up nights.  Worse, you have left me lying in bed, days at a time, with blackness all around me thicker and more suffocating than smoke from a fire.

You took my past and even part of my present. You think I don't know it was you who slipped the vial of pneumonia into my drink?  Or that it's you who eggs my mother on to make all of those little comments in my direction?  Or you that grabs my heart with your cold fingers when I am trying to make a good decision? Or sends me people in the guise of friends who for whatever sick reason want to do me harm?  I'm sick of them and I'm sick of you.

But hear this you Bitch.  You will NOT take my future.  I may not be as strong as I try to make myself out to be.  In fact I know I'm not.  And I do not really know what strength lies within this little body and the blood that flows through it.  But by whatever strength there is in me, I will fucking fight you tooth and nail and hand and foot to stop you from taking anymore.  I will graduate and find a career and a life.  I will do these things if I have to cut through you to do it.

And you cannot have him either.  I'm not saying he's mine.  Only time will tell if we are right for each other on a permanent basis.  But it won't be you who takes him.  It's our decision, not yours.  Don't think I didn't see you last night sitting in your car across the street watching us, thin trails of smoke from the cig dangling between your thin, cold fingers.  Or that it was you who kept me up half the night thinking about everything I've just written?

So back off bitch.  Find another patsy to destroy.  You have already taken enough from me.  Let me have some peace and enjoyment for once. 

Please.

This inspiration for a post in this style comes from a fellow Blogger - I'm sure it won't be hard for her to figure out its her:

4 comments:

  1. You're stronger than her. Remember that.You're a whole, and she's merely a part.

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  2. Gorgeous!
    as a side note, brought on by "dressed in Winter's robes", have you read the books yet?

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  3. Loved this post. Very well written!

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