Monday, June 13, 2011

Roller Coaster Baby

Life certainly has a sense of humor.

Twisted as it may be.

So I just got home from the hospital.  Free at last.  Free at last.  Thank the good lord I'm free at last (that's a paraphrase, btw)!

My lung infection, aka that tricky ol' pneumonia, begat secondary issues including, but not limited to, dehydration, weight loss and continuous low grade fever (like doctors have nothing better to worry about).  Most of these things would have been fine..... if I was a 26 year old male who weighs 240 lbs.  But I had (oh past tense!) a starting weight of approximately 110 pounds that plummeted (not my word) to....well let's just leave it at a lot less than 110 pounds.

Did I mention the constant coughing?

So after my first day shavuous collapse (well come on, it WAS really hot wasn't it???  I'm sure a few of you probably passed out too) I was rushed to the hospital where I was admitted for the plethora of reasons found above.  Not to mention the coughing.

Being in the hospital really filled me with raw emotion.  Most of it negative.  I was really upset when they told me I had to stay.  I begged the doctor to let me go.  I probably would have thrown a fit but I simply didn't have the strength. In retrospect, my begging was probably half hearted at best.  Thusrday I was really depressed.  I hate the feeling of lack of control.  And I felt that I had absolutely NO control over my life.  I was weak, sick (did I mention the cough?) and I had IV drips for hydration and weight gain.  IV drips?  Really?  I cried pretty much all day out of frustration.  My poor father, stuck with me in the hospital after being up all night Tuesday night and then coming with me to the hospital Wednesday - he looked pretty strung out.  And besides, it's not like the 2 of us have 24 hours worth of stuff to talk about. 

Flash forward to Friday.  Doc told my dad Thursday night I have to stay a few days.  Stay a few days?  Here?  In the hospital?  Another round of begging.  Another loss for Cymbaline.  Dad went home after the holiday with my list of things I was going to need to survive my SHORT stay.  My older brother (thank god for him not having a job) brought my things Friday morning.  He stayed a while and we joked about the negative odds of my mother making a visit to see me.  Then he left.

Still depressed out of my mind, I called Tova.  Lord knows if anyone knows how to survice stays in the hospital, it's her.  She listened to me whine, complain and woe is me, told me to get over myself, suck it up, and be happy that my stay was of the very temporary nature.

By Friday afternoon 2 things were abundantly clear - I was rehydrated and the doctors weren't letting me out. They spoke to my dad and explained that since the pneumonia was still pretty strong, it paid to keep me over.  Having become quite a stoic, i took the news well holding off on dropping any "eff bombs" until after everyone left the room.  I told my father in no uncertain terms that he was NOT to stay with me all Shabbos, that I would be totally fine, and he reluctantly left me.

Long story short, Saturday and Sunday were boring ass to hell days, BUT the meds started working, I started eating solids (long live shitty hospital food!!) and god help me I actually felt better. 

And now I'm home.  I'm still weak and coughing, but I'm home.  I ate tuna and tomato on whole wheat toast.  My spirits are higher than they have been since the day I finished school (oh and I got all my grades back - I kicked ASS, even in the writing class where i handed in that crap story).

And I realized a few things - of course.  Life's lesson's and all.  One - I CAN survive without email and the internet  - my genius brother brought my phone, 3/4 dead, and no charger.  I found out it's actually not so bad to get yourself unpluged every so often.

I also learned that you need to keep things in perspective.  Thanks Tova (though I KNOW you are holding to your word and not reading this!!) for making me remember that a few days in the hospital beats the shit out of a few months there.

Also, a word about my hospital roomate.  Her name was Jessica.  Jessica was probably around my age.  I am not really sure what was wrong with her.  We never spoke once the whole time i was there.  In fact, she barely spoke at all.  I think  she was recovering from self inflicted wounds she got while trying to kill herself, but I'm not 100% sure.  What I do know is that she was visited more by shrinks than regular doctors.  So thank you Jessica for more help with that whole keeping things in perspective thing.

So there you have it.  The update you have been waiting for (or not).  The other thing - I solidified my plans for the road trip in august.  It's a go.  Details to follow.

One sad note - today would have been the day I started my internship.  I was really looking forward to it.

2 comments:

  1. glad to hear you're feeling better :)

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  2. Keep it up on the recovery front! Your health is def more important than the internship. Hopefully you'll recover soon and will be able to really enjoy it. :)

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