Friday, June 24, 2011

Love Scene (Version 6)

So what if it's cloudy, gray and raining - today is the most beautiful day!  Been a long time coming no?

So details.  You know you want em.  And I know you want em cause you've requested them.  So here they are (and for the record no, I don't remember every line of our conversation but what I write here is pretty damn close to word for word and no, after re-reading this, this post doesn't even come close to doing justice to last night - I'm not nearly a good enough writer to re-create that magic):

We met midtown, a few blocks form his office, at a coffee shop.  I got there early and cleared the best, most secluded table in the place by doing what I do best - having coughing fits every 45 seconds.  There's nothing like the angry glances of annoyed New Yorkers.  Don't worry guys, I smiled sweetly at them, I'm not contagious.  David walked in a few minutes late, wearing gray dress pants and a white shirt with blue stripes and 2 days worth of stubble - sigh, professional and perfect.  We both ordered (me the 75 ounce latte and he ordered regular coffee, milk sugar) and sipped.

We made small talk for a few minutes while I filled him in on what's been going on with me the last several weeks (remember, I've been strenuously avoiding him since the Great Florida Fiasco).  I told him all the stuff going through my head - being sick, possibly losing the internship, losing too much weight (which is where he cut in with "Oh my god yea, you HAVE lost a lot of weight.  You look like a strung out crack whore" and then giggled into his coffee while I gave him a VERY disapproving stare).

I guess I was mad nervous  because he asked me if being sick made me very weak.  When I asked why he said it was because my hands were shaking a lot and he was wondering if it was connected to my pneumonia. 

"I'm just nervous," I said.

He laughs.  "Why would you be nervous?  If this place frightens you so much, we could have gone to Starbucks."  Everyone's a comedian.

"It's not the place.  It's you."

He gives me surprised.  "Me?  Since when do I make you nervous?"

The first tears of the night spring out of my eyes.  and then the words are spilling out right behind them.  And I'm paraphrasing here but I spewed out something to the effect of - "Since I realized that I like you more than a friend.  Much more.  Since I never got any sign back from you that you liked me the same way - liked me at all more than a friend.  And since when we were in your hotel room and I kinda asked you and you said we were just friends and I was scared to push you anymore because, David, you know I love you and I rely on you so much I'd much rather have you in my life as a friend than scare you away by telling you this so if ......"

So his face went from surprised to really surprised when I started this tirade.  Then it softened. Which I, of course, read as pity.  Pity for poor Cymbaline who deluded herself into hoping against hope that this wonderfully great guy could ever like her more than a friend.  Thus the rambling at the end.  i was trying to back my way out of the corner.  But he finally cut me off.  Mercifully.

"Cym, stop" he says with a smile on his face.  And I do.  I really have nothing more to say.  I told him my deepest feelings and I really didn't have anything to add.

"It's ok, " I said.  "It's ok if you don't feel the same way about me.  I totally get it and..."

"Cym, STOP".  And he's got this really big smile on his face, which is suddenly very annoying because why is he smiling when I'm baring my tortured soul to him.

"What are you grinning at?" I pout.

"You.  Why are you such a lunatic?  Why didin't you just talk to me?"

I look down into my frothy white beverage.  "Because I'm scared you don't like me the same way."

He sighs.  Now he's looking down into his significantly less frothy beverage.  "Truthfully Cym, I have thought about it.  About how I feel about you.  And the truth is, I like you too.  A lot.  But you wanna know something funny?  I never really thought someone like you would be interested in me.  When I think about it, I always see you with some brilliant guy, a real go-getter and someone more....I dunno buttoned up than me.  Also I know how you feel about orthodoxy and while I'm not the most religious guy in the world...." he trails off.

Well I don't have to tell you kids, this has thrown me for quite a loop.  I mean here I am, waiting for the man of my dreams to reject me, but he seems to be telling me that he ISN'T rejecting me.  I really, really, really want to get my hopes up at this point of the conversation but...

"So let me be clear about this," I say, "we both like, like each other but we assumed the other person wouldn't like them back?"  He shrugs.  What I love about men is how expressive they are.

"David, you are a total retard.  How could I ever even FIND a guy better than you?  You are smart, you make me laugh even when you are being mean (I am thinking specifically about the strung out crack whore reference as I write this), you are kind and caring.  I don't care if you are religious.  I assumed you wouldn't ever go for me because I'm NOT religious."

Well this back and forth went on for a while longer.  Like three more hours.  We finished coffee and I drove us up to his place.  We had a light dinner (pasta and a salad - the man had greens in his fridge, I think he's a keeper!!) and we talked and talked.  Finally I had a monster coughing fit and he offered to drive me home.  I told him I was totally fine.  in fact i was pretty sure i could float home.  he said he didn't mind - he cold get a train back.  I said no way, cause he had work the next day and there was now way I would do that to him. 

I don't remember driving home.  But I can tell you there was a big ass grin on my face. 

And I can tell you I slept last night better than I have in a loooong time. 

20 comments:

  1. Feeling so happy and relieved for you! Amazing communication - may it always be that clear!

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  2. awwwww, im grinning like an idiot @ my computer screen, suuuuch a cute 'scene' - almost like it couldn't possibly be real, but something out of a chick lit book instead :) so happy for you, hope everything works out and you finally STOP COUGHING! (i cracked up at the line about how you reserved the table, and a little at david's line about your weight too - sorry!!):)

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  3. is that directed @ me??
    not a man!

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  4. lol it's ok, the name throws people off... i don't think a man would be impressed by the cuteness of the story!

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  5. Ok - still way embarrased.

    No offense meant. If someone called me a guy I wouldn't be too offended but everyone's different.

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  7. I'm a man and I'm very impressed by the cuteness (or, rather, the touching play out) of the story.

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  8. Knew it! Well done.

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  9. Yay! I cant imagine being happier for anyone! You totally deserve happiness like this!

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  10. I KNEW IT! I'm also grinning like an idiot and also loved the same lines as stam[azoid] did! Not sure what that says about me.... LOVE THIS POST!

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  11. Can't sop reading and smiling over and over again! Have a great Shabbat!

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  12. :) yay for a happy ending. Thnank gd u finally spoke to him.

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  13. Wow! Thats great! Im really happy for u!

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  14. Hey SO happy you had the strength to communicate like that and really glad it worked out for you:)

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  15. Great story - thanks for sharing it!!!
    Hope things just keep getting better and better...
    B'hatzlacha
    Anon613-London

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