Wednesday, April 6, 2011


"Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are
You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are

You radiate cold shafts of broken glass

You're nearly a good laugh
Almost worth a quick grin
You like the feel of steel

You're hot stuff with a hat pin
And good fun with a hand gun

You're nearly a laugh
You're nearly a laugh

But you're really a cry"
(R. Waters)
At least it's not about me.  That's the only positive.

There's this girl.  She's a friend of a friend.  She's from a very upstanding frum family.  I've spoken to her a few times here and there by chance meeting and mutual acquaintance.  I've always had the skeevies after talking to her.  She just gives off this feel like she's....dead inside.  Her demeanor, her tone - it's almost like talking to a re-animated corpse.  But hey, to each their own right.  I don't have to live with her, just occasionally say hey how are you.

Last night I went to a social gathering, the type or place of which is not important.  But this girl is there.  She's there but she's not there.  She's sitting off alone, staring at who knows what.  Everyone else was wrapped up so I walked over, asked her why she wasn't participating.

At first she didn't answer.  It seemed like she didn't even hear me.  I was about to walk away when she told me to wait.  She started to sob - except no tears came.  She was dry sobbing - it was scary to watch.  Then she told me her story.

Quite frankly, it is one of the most awful things I have ever heard. 

Her stupid lack of self esteem.

This poor girl did something stupid and now her life is being ruined by an evil person.  It makes me so mad.  It makes me furious.  I keep finding myself balling my hands into fists.  I want to do this evil person physical harm. 

But I can do nothing.  No one can.  She begged me not to tell anyone.  If this gets out, her life will be destroyed and her family will be a laughingstock.  So she's suffering a continuing pain with no end in sight.

I told her she needs to speak to someone about this.  She said that she just told me.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  I told her she needs to speak to someone who knows something.

No, she can't.  She won't.  And if I tell anyone, she will kill herself.  Because suicide will be less of an embarrassment for her family than this other thing.


People with no morals or values of any sort.  people who think only of themselves.  The world is full of them.  They deserve whatever cosmic fate awaits them.

But in the meantime, watching their collateral damage is heartbreaking.


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