Friday, March 25, 2011

Stay

In ninth grade I became good friends with a girl named Tova.  Tova was a hard nosed, tough-ass chick who didn't really care what others thought about her. She had a real mind of her own.  Possibly born out of the Leukemia she was discovered with when she was 8 years old.  Luckily (or unluckily) she has a form of Leukemia which is less strong than others but its recurring - in other words it's more curable but it comes back.

 It came back when she was 14.  And just like when she was 8, she beat it again.  She met a guy through a Jewish cancer survivor program.  His name was "John".  John and Tova became really close-  he was a mentor/so much more to her.  Tova watched John suffer through a second bout of his disease and die. 

It hit Tova like 2 tons of bricks.  But Tova is a tough-ass bitch.  She got through cancer twice and the loss of the only personn she ever loved (let's say she had MAJOR parent issues).   So she got past John's death too.
She has had a very tough life - but her position is that she tough enough to handle everything thrown at her.

Except, maybe, the news that she had it again. Time number three. And this time it feels different.  She talks differently.  She acts differently.  She sounds....defeated.  it's not "I'm going to beat this" it's "the cancer will either kill me or it won't". 

She seems at peace.  but I'm terrified.  I'm afraid she's going to die this time. 

I want her to stay.

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